Sexless Marriage

It is a sensitive topic among Australian middle class couples. Whenever 30 or 40 something’s gather together , inevitably the conversation leads to the lack of sex in their lives.

Even the best relationships can go through a rough time, mainly because we tend to take our partners for granted . We put a huge amount of effort into all other areas of our lives, such as our job, finances and family life, but get lazy when it comes to long term love.

I run Women’s Sexuality and Self Confidence Workshops, and I have found that many women I talk to would rather skip sex for a whole month than discard a prized pair of shoes.

1. Visit your GP
There can be many reasons for a decline in libido, firstly I would advise your wife to visit her GP for a general health check and also blood test to check her hormone levels.

2. Body Confidence
For a woman to be truly at ease with her sexuality, she needs to be able to love herself and her body. Sex, a sexier life and self esteem go hand in hand, because if you don’t feel good about yourself and your body, the chances of feeling uninhibited in bed are limited.

It is so easy for women to throw their sexuality on the backburner when they have children to feed and deadlines to meet. Women need to start thinking of themselves as a sexual being, rather than someone’s wife and mother. They need to do things to make them feel good about themselves. Feeling good about yourself is crucial for good sex.

3. Discover what you enjoy sexually
To enjoy sex, you must also know how to share pleasure and discover what you like when it comes to sex. Many women have never learnt to ask for what they want sexually. Sex nourishes and energises a marriage and helps strengthen it’s bond.

4. Foreplay and Seduction
While the absence of sex does not necessarily mean you have fallen out of love, it does indicate that intimacy is missing. Although many women love their partner, they no longer feel the same level of desire. What is missing in many relationships is emotional foreplay and seduction.

Foreplay out of the bedroom is more important than what happens in the minutes leading up to sex . The most effective foreplay takes place hours, days and weeks before you make love.

Seduction remains crucial to maintaining a healthy level of desire. In the early stages of a relationship we make the effort to seduce.

5. The Power of Positive Thinking
If you think about how boring and disappointing your sex life is - that’s what it will be. But start thinking about how great it could be and you’re half way there. Envisage how you’d like things to be, remember the physical intimacy you shared when you first met, imagine achieving that again. It’s been proven that we can think ourselves into a positive state, just by reprogramming out brains. Which is a ‘fake it till you make it’ mentality. And remember the less sex you have, the less you want ….. and the more you have, the more you want.

6. Don’t blame
If you don’t make the time , sex quite often won’t happen of it’s own accord , so take responsibility and try to turn things around. You are at least 50% responsible for the state of any relationship you are in, if you don’t like what you see, it’s time to institute changes, without blame.

7. Actions
Actions speak louder than words, so don’t forget how far a cuddle can take you. Run your wife a nice bubble bath, pour her a glass of wine and close the door, then take the kids out for a walk, give her some ‘ME’ time. Give her a slow sensual massage, but without any expectations. How often do you kiss each other ? Take time every day to kiss your partner … not just a peck on the cheek … but a long, slow, loving kiss

8. Understand emotional differences
A major reason for couples having less and less sex is men and women don’t understand each others needs. Women don’t understand how rejected a man feels when she is not in the mood for sex and the man does not realize how much the woman needs romance and good communication. Unhappiness and resentment are two of the most common causes of lack of libido in women.

Kisses
Kim xxx

To discover the Secrets to a Fabulous, Happy, Confident Life ... and 'Get your Sexy Back' please visit my website www.secretsfromtheboudoir.com.au

Secrets From the Boudoir
www.secretsfromtheboudoir.com.au